quite good except for a few spelling mistakes.moreover write something other than lies okay
SpottedFire
2008-06-17 04:09:51 UTC
wow! this really caught my attention. Though it is hard to understand you can see it very clearly. And are able to relate to it. I really like the ending
things falling from my lips like rain from the sky
why why why
cant i stop these lies?
that simile is so beautiful. Keep writing! I'd like to read more. If you want a site to get more opinions than here's a good online community poetry site.
www.best-love-poems.com
It's not just love poems it's really for any type there are 10 categories. hope this helps!!
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